On Assembling an Artificial Tree

With Christmas drawing near, people everywhere are thinking about decorating and with thoughts of decorating come thoughts of Christmas trees. While some people purchase or chop down their own tree, those who are unable to do so or have chosen not to have a real tree have the task of assembling one.

Dependent on the tree, this process can go in several directions. For example, if it is a pre-lit tree, chance are all you have to do is take the multiple sections out of the box, assemble them in the stand and arrange the branches to your liking, completing the task with a minimal, and possibly less time consuming, work. If it is not a pre-lit tree, then the arduous job begins! First, one must locate the stand and the center poles, which have hopefully been placed somewhere near the top of the box to avoid the strewing of pieces hither and thither in search of them. At this time it is also a good idea to determine the location you will be placing the tree if this has not been decided already. By doing this early on in the assembly disastrous attempts to move the completely assembled tree can be averted. Then comes the sorting of the branches. Before sorting begins, however, it is often helpful to remind oneself or others who are assisting that while the branches may offer the perfect opportunity for pretending that you have a wand or provide something to poke or swat someone with, this is not their intended use and one should refrain from using them for these purposes. Failure to do so may result in injury to persons and/or objects within waving and poking distance. With that in mind, branches should be sorted as the directions direct, by letter, color, or whatever such thing they have decided to use. Once that is complete the placing of the branches in the slots may commence, in which great effort must be taken to avoid poking an eye out and eating fake pine needles. After this has been done, one should position and shape the branches. A few bruises and bandages later and if the assembler(s) have not given up halfway through, a beautiful fake tree should grace whatever room it was assembled in. And if one is not too exhausted, the tree is now ready to be dressed in decorations! For those who failed to make it to the end, some options consist of buying a small table top tree, finding a tinsel tree, or using a Christmas cake tree, such as that used by R. Godden's Plantaganet family. ♥