On Making a Pie

Pie making is a tradition that has been passed down through the ages and a very yummy one it is at that! When going about the process of making a pie there are a great many steps and things one ought to keep in mind. To start with, the type of pie that is to be baked must be decided upon. In making this most important decision, the pie maker will find themselves perusing the pages of their cook books and their recipe cards causing them to consider an array of delicious pies, such as apple and berry, and some not so delicious pies, such as a prune-banana. Usually the decision is an easy one to make based on season and what sort of filling is readily at hand and with this decision having been made, the pie maker is off and running and ready to face the making of the crust.   

The first step in making the crust is to mix the flour and salt. Something that must be remembered is that it is unwise to dump the flour into the bowl from a height that is greater than necessary. Failure to keep this in mind will generally result in a small dust storm and it is usually at this point that the pie maker will look down and realize that their previously black shirt would have been better off had they worn an apron. After the dust storm has settled, the pie maker will then have to cut in the shortening. Cutting in of the shortening first requires that the shortening be measured and then taken out of the measuring cup, which in itself is a task. The shortening, being an ingredient that feels the need to stick to everything it touches, once put in the bowl with the flour and salt will do everything in its power to avoid being cut into pea sized particles by the pastry blender. This includes sticking to the pastry blender, then sticking to the knife used to get it off the pastry blender, and then to the pastry blender again. To combat shortening fatigue, one should remind themselves that without the shortening that the crust would only be a pasty goop and that there would be no purpose in making it. Upon the survival of cutting of the shortening to the correct size, water can be sprinkled (not poured, which will make things more difficult) onto the mix. From there the pie maker will be able to gather the dough into a ball in hopes that it will not crumble or be overly sticky. Having a ball of dough the pie maker may now vigorously take a rolling pin to it after causing another dust storm by placing flour on the surface on which they intend to roll it out. Being ever so careful the then rolled dough may be placed in the pie tin in hopes that it will not stick to the surface or tear before it reaches its final destination.     

After the crust has been completed and the pie maker has taken a deep breath to recover from their unintended exercise, they may then prepare the filling to go in the crust. In doing this they should be sure to follow the directions least they forget to include the final step of dotting the top of the filling with butter, which if forgotten will only be thought of after the top crust has been placed and sealed and the pie had been in the oven for about 15 minutes. If the pie maker does remember the butter, then they are almost sure to forget to put aluminum foil around the edge to prevent it from burning. Like the lack of butter, chances are that this will not be realized until the pie has been in the oven for a considerable amount of time. In either case, the pie maker should look forward to a brief moment of panic and quite possibly burnt fingers. However, in the end the pie maker should hopefully find that they have a well turned out pie to grace their table, unless they have been daydreaming in which case it will most likely have burnt, and will then be able to focus on the mess they have made of their kitchen.

And now having read these helpful instructions, one can be sure that they will know how to successfully make a pie should they wish to do so and quite possibly will have gained a greater understanding as to why the pieman refused to let his pies be tasted before seeing a penny. ♥ 

Yum!